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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, thank you for attending the first annual Satire Soiree. It’s been a splendid evening, hasn’t it? Warm thanks to the Gulliver String Quartet for entertaining us with beautiful music. Let’s give them a big hand, everyone. And kudos to our caterers, Gargantua and Pantagruel, for keeping us stuffed with delectables all night long. Simply divine! 

Now we come to the highlight of tonight’s program. It is my privilege and honor to announce the winner of the just-devised-yet-still-quite-prestigious Higher Edison Whitcomb Prize. The Whitcomb Prize is awarded  for distinction and achievement in educational blogging satire. Higher Edison’s panel of crackerjack Derrida scholars reviews all nominated work and awards the Whitcomb Prize to the piece of bloggery that best exemplifies the qualities of gleeful subversiveness, smarts, incisive style, cleverness, fearlessness, dark humor, and acute. . . er, chronic. . .  sense of irony. While the Prize comes with no actual money, it does confer upon its holder serious street cred and bragging rights. And there’s a really cool traveling trophy: this vintage vinyl Caedmon recording of Kurt Vonnegut reading an abridged version of his Breakfast of Champions.

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And the Whitcomb Prize goes to. . .

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Doug Johnson for his Blue Skunk Blog post "The Illusion of Change"!

Congratulations, Doug. Should you choose to accept this high honor, your only obligations are 1) relinquish the trophy to the next lucky prizewinner when said winner is announced, and 2) appear at a couple of hardware store grand openings.

Drive safely, everyone. Help yourself to any leftover foie gras canapes.

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